I am a tilt inducing machine

I was four tabling last night, trying to build up a few FPPs prior to my Vegas trip. I’ll ridiculously off the pace this month. I think I’ve got about 33% of the hands I need to play despite the calendar saying that the month is 67% over. I’m fairly sure I’m going to miss because I don’t expect to put on a full-court press to get there. Even though I was playing last night, I cut back to two tables when someone posted that Tall Paul was deep in the 50k tourney last night. As expected, he held on to win the damn thing and claim 10k or so. It was fun to railbird him.

Anyhow, on one particular table (a 10/20 limit game), I got one player totally aggravated. I had marked his play as soon as I sat down. The first hand that we really tangled was this one, where I defended my blind very light in hopes of playing a hand with him.
PokerStars 10/20 Hold’em (9 handed) Poker Stars Converter Tool from (Format: HTML)

Preflop: Hero is BB with :4c, :9d.
5 folds, CO raises, 2 folds, Hero calls.

Flop: (4.50 SB) :Jh, :Ts, :Kd (2 players)
Hero checks, CO bets, Hero calls.

One of his issues was a tendency to give up easily. Against most players I’d check raise with any hand I intended to continue, but I assumed he would check the turn and give up on the river with smaller pairs and Ace-rags.

Turn: (3.25 BB) :Qh (2 players)
Hero checks, CO checks.

Kind of a funny card, this. Nice that I now actually have a hand, but they don’t call it the idiot end for nothing. His range includes a lot of Aces (he had raised and shown down A4o previously). When he checks, I’m obviously good. I would have called down anyhow.

River: (3.25 BB) :7h (2 players)
Hero bets, CO calls.

Final Pot: 5.25 BB

Hero has :4c :9d (straight, king high).
CO shows :Qs :8s (a pair of Queens).

Outcome: Hero wins 5.25 BB.

I thought the hand was relatively normal, although the fact that I defended with 94o might suggest a certain lack of respect for his play. He, however, took great offense to this decision, as evidenced by the following chat:

Tilt-o-Whirl said, “What a dip S H I T”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “9 4 on a raise? what a dip S H I T”

The clever use of additional spaces demonstrates a certain expertise with abusive poker chat. Since I was feeling a bit rambunctious and since he had previously harassed another player, I decided to engage him and try to keep him focused on me. Normally, the best thing to do is to ignore guys like this, but I actually enjoy taunting them. Probably not my best character trait.

Hero said, “I didn’t realize you would only raise monsters like Q8.”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “I guess we need pepole like you to make a living”
Hero said, “I just play the shiny ones.”

I then win a few pots from him, but don’t show down any of them, so he is quiet for an orbit or two. Then I get into a big hand in an ugly situation with him and another guy.

PokerStars 10/20 Hold’em (8 handed) Poker Stars Converter Tool from (Format: HTML)

Preflop: Hero is UTG+1 with :Ts, :9s.
1 fold, Hero calls, 3 folds, Button raises, 1 fold, BB calls, Hero calls.

This is mostly spewish. I limped because there had been a lot of family pots at this table and I thought that I could encourage a big pot. Villain is the Button, so heads-up with him would be OK since I think I can steamroller him a bit.

Flop: (6.50 SB) :Qh, :Tc, :8s (3 players)
BB bets, Hero raises, Button calls, BB 3-bets, Hero calls, Button calls.

Well, this is not the worst flop ever. When the BB leads, I figure I’d like to isolate him and take control of the hand. Many BBs will lead with total crap. When villain calls, he probably has something decent and when BB 3-bets, I’m probably in trouble. Hard to fold though, with a gut shot and a pair and a backdoor flush draw.

Turn: (7.75 BB) :6s (3 players)
BB bets, Hero calls, Button calls.

That’s not bad. Maybe I’ll go runner-runner and win a nice pot.

River: (10.75 BB) :Qs (3 players)
BB bets, Hero raises, Button calls, BB 3-bets, Hero calls, Button calls.

The river card sure looked like a great one until the BB three-bets me AGAIN. Still, I’m not folding my flush.

Final Pot: 19.75 BB

BB has :Qd :Th (full house, queens full of tens).
Hero has :Ts :9s (flush, queen high).
Button has :As :Qc (three of a kind, queens).

Outcome: BB wins 19.75 BB.

Predictably, Tilt-O-Whirl was none too impressed with my play of that hand. In this case, he had a point, although he mangled it a bit. I even broke my rule and provided actual poker content back to him. Another bad play.

Tilt-o-Whirl said, “nice betind 23-19 DIP S H I T i had you bet with Q A”
Hero said, “well, at least some good came of the hand then.”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “Dip S H I T”
Hero said, “of course, I had the flush so you might want to reread the hand history”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “on the riaer DIP S H I T”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “All that raiseing with 4 spades DIP S H I T”

If he is going to get mad every time I raise the flop with the worst hand, he is going to be a very unhappy guy. I decide not to tell him this. I also never raised with 4 spades. I raised with 3 spades and with 5 spades.

I then go a mini-run which is mixed in with this penetrating analysis from him of my playing style:

Tilt-o-Whirl said, “you must be a woman”
Hero said, “because I laugh at you?”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “No because you play poker like one”
Hero said, “You should see me throw a baseball.”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “So now your a pro ball player”
Hero said, “No, I throw like a girl”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “don’t tell me your a ****”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “H O M O”
Hero said, “does that frighten you? Hit a little close to home?”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “No I was thinking of your father”

At this point, I typed “That’s funny, I was thinking of YOUR father.” but that seemed a bridge too far, so I backed up and typed this instead.

Hero said, “you should be more concerned for my wife. She’ll be gutted by your news”
Tilt-o-Whirl said, “Isyou wife a man”
Hero said, “not last time I checked.”
Hero said, “been a few hours tho”

I left the table up about $800 and he was down $200 when I left. I double checked this morning and my wife is thankfully still a woman. I’m up about $700 total for the month thus far, not counting my People’s Championship win.

By Nsidestrate

I'm a hard-core limit ring game poker player who is becoming a degenerate sports bettor. I'm sure it will all make more sense if you read on.